Flours and Diamonds

A while back, when Lily was just a few weeks old, I started writing a blog about her birth story. It's still a work in progress, but I wanted to share the short version first. Here's the gist of what happened and how Lily entered the world in September. Back in June/July I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I worked really hard to ensure I controlled the diabetes with diet alone, as I didn't want to be put on medication or insulin. I was successful all the way through the end. As a side note, I want to mention that gestational diabetes can happen to anyone, regardless of their diet, weight, exercise regimen, etc. both before and during pregnancy. I had to have a few growth scans leading up to my due date because one of the issues with gestational diabetes can be a larger than average baby. Specifically, the abdomen is larger than the head, which can lead to injury to the baby during birth, like a broken clavicle or dislocated shoulder. I was really concerned about...

This is Jo Montana. We call her Montana. She's also affectionately called: Mawma, Monty, JoMo, Brat, Pretty Girl, and Montana Good Girl. Today is Montana's 2nd birthday. Montana had a rough start to life. She was born in the middle of her litter - 4 females and 1 male. Her mother died when she was just 5 weeks old, and her humans decided to surrender her entire litter to a kill-shelter in Madera. Fortunately, a rescue group here in the South Bay heard about this litter and partnered with Humane Society Silicon Valley to arrange pick-up and foster care for the litter. Montana was fostered with 2 of the females: Jerry Rice and Daisy. We had only lived in our house for a few months when we found this litter. We were originally after the 1 male, but miraculously, we ended up with our girl, Montana. When we adopted Montana, our friends and family teased us that we were "practicing" for when we had a child. They certainly didn't mean anything by it, but they definitely...

It's widely known that I work for the American Cancer Society. And by widely known, I mean most of the people in my immediate circle know that. But my name gets out there through the event I manage. My "official" title is: Senior Community Development Manager, MSABC Mega Events If that isn't overly long, I don't know what is... So what does it mean? What do I do? Primarily, I'm the event manager for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Silicon Valley (MSBAC/Strides/Making Strides, etc.). Our Strides event is the only breast cancer awareness walk serving the Peninsula, South Bay, and Central Valley communities. In 2017, Making Strides of Silicon Valley raised just over $950,000 and hosted about 13,000 walkers. This year, we're slated to raise over $1M and host 15,000 walkers. As the Community Development manager I work with companies to secure sponsorship and steward the community champions from those companies, act as a resource for folks who w...

Yo - infertility is EXPENSIVE, y'all! Like, this is our first round of trying with medical assistance, and it's cost us over $300 this month. If we don't end up pregnant in about 2 weeks, we'll go through the process again, but this time it should only cost us about $200... only...   For crap sakes! Real talk, the HSG is terrible and I felt like a disgusting, bloated mess for 2 days afterward. It's a graphic procedure that I won't fully describe here, but if you want to know what they do, you can check out this article on WebMD. Basically, it's a test to make sure your fallopian tubes are open. Fortunately, mine were and my uterus is healthy. Also, apparently, I can't follow directions. I started using a different ovulation predictor kit (OPK) for this cycle on 5/31 (I had been using one from August 2017-March 2018). Yesterday was the first day since December that the OPK was positive. I can't follow directions because I bought the wrong one....

Ok. It's been a long while, like a year and a half. Whatever. It happens. That's Real life... When I started Flours & Diamonds I had hoped to fill it up with all kinds of recipes, adventures, anecdotes, etc. And maybe for a while, I did that. But now I think it's time to turn another page... November 2014 we found out I was pregnant. December 2014 we told our families January 2, 2015 we found I was having a miscarriage January 27, 2015 I shared that with all of you Post-miscarriage life wasn't easy for me. I was angry, felt alone for some pieces because Frank doesn't outwardly grieve and I felt I needed that from him. I felt I needed to know he was affected, too. I sought counseling, struggled when I heard people close to me were pregnant, and broke down at the mere mention of someone asking me if/when we were having kids. Life was real, and I hated most of it. It took about 2 years for me to fully recover and feel "ok" with my lot in life a...

5:47am -- Because I am CRAZY, I wake up at 5:20am every Saturday morning to work a 6am-10am air shift at my radio station. The saving grace in this is that I don't have to get ready. I go to the bathroom, rinse my face with cool water, get dressed, grab some breakfast, and head out the door. I consider a quick Starbucks order, but skip the coffee this morning... sometimes it hypes me up too much and I talk too fast on the air... oops! Today I pack a GF bagel with cream cheese, pear, and apple sauce for breakfast. I have to be careful what time I eat because otherwise I will be starving by the time I get off at 10am. 8:03am -- I have eaten my bagel and apple sauce. I am eyeing my pear, but making myself have restraint. During the election on Tuesday night I needed a distraction... A local news station posted a live Facebook video of puppies at the Oakland Animal Shelter. They showcased a 5 month old blue nose pit bull named Lincoln (my husband's favorite historical figure). No...

7:16am -- I woke up at my normal time, 6:30am, and went about my routine, but a bit different. I go to the bathroom and have my shower, but sit in the living room and watch the news for a while because my husband is still in bed since he has the day off. My on-air boss texts me about my shift for Thanksgiving weekend and we negotiate whether I need time off to go down to Oceanside to potentially meet our new niece (if she makes her debut early). We come to an amicable agreement and she compliments me about my presence on-air. It gives me a little validation that I didn't totally know I needed. 8:53am -- I skipped my regular breakfast at home, so I choked down a protein bar at the office. I decide I need coffee so I venture to the kitchen to make an iced mocha to find that someone has used the rest of the creamer I brought in last week... I use powdered cream and just deal with it. As I walk back to my office I catch one of my bosses in the hallway and we start chatting and joking...

6:23am -- Mornings like today get me a little off track. I get up early and do the regular routine because I have to pause around 7:30am to call in to my radio station for a segment I do every week called "Foodapedia". I chat with the morning show hosts about food and showcase a recipe. This morning I'm asked about bell peppers. I hate bell peppers most ways. So I text my momma for the info on roasting peppers and cooking them down with tomatoes. It makes my mouth water, but I wait until later to have breakfast. 7:41am -- After my call-in, I pour myself some Honey Nut Cheerios and start typing out the recipe for roasted red peppers, and the time gets away from me. I decide I want Starbucks since I found I have money on my gold card. So I stop with the recipe and finish getting ready. I still have to put my makeup on, fix my hair, and get dressed. 8:37am -- I should have ordered my coffee via the Starbucks app before I left the house, but I forgot. So I have to wait in...

Day 2 5:47am -- My husband left with out turning off his alarm. Since I'm unfamiliar with the clock he uses, I have to turn the light on and get out of bed to turn it off. After the election results last night, I only got about 5 hours of sleep - and there's no way I'm going back to bed now. I force myself to stay off Facebook. I can't handle the extreme sadness and disappointment, let alone the few gloaters I encountered, right now. Instead, I briefly look on Amazon for Christmas gifts for my nephew before deciding I need to buy myself a present: a "Make America Kind Again" tote bag on Etsy; and in the moment, it makes me feel better... $20.35 7:23am -- Looks like I WAS going back to sleep after the alarm debacle. I slipped off to sleep while watching a feel-good movie (The Way Way Back), and missed my 6:30am alarm. So I scramble around to get ready. Shower, get dressed, and toss some GF raisin bread in the toaster while I'm putting my make up on. I ...

Personal and Spending Overview: Industry:  Graphic Design.  Position: I work at a radio station and wear a lot of hats, but my title - Creative Services Manager - implies that my primary function is to create artwork and manage marketing materials. I also freelance for 2 different organizations, but the money I make there is pretty minimal, and I only get paid every other month. I also work for the same radio station as a part time radio DJ on weekends.  Age:  31 Location:  San Jose, CA. My husband and I just purchased our first home in July. Salary:  Base at the radio station: Under $50,000 annually - Freelance: $250/month - DJ: $10.30/hour (yup, I only make minimum wage). My husband's salary, however, brings our annual income to over $100k.  Paycheck Amount (bi-weekly):  Under $1,400 less taxes and deductions: flexible spending account allocation, 401K deposit, Roth IRA, and health insurance # of roommates:  ...

So, I regularly read a series called "Money Diary" on Refinery29: a digital media company which brings into sharp focus the latest fashion, make-up, hair style, and life style trends for women in my age group. The series takes a 7-day diary of a woman's spending habits. Most of them are in their late 20's to early 30's, some have roommates, some live alone, some are married, and they live in varying places, thought most seem to be in New York. Since I have never seen one for the Silicon Valley, and Frank and I just achieved such a coveted goal: home ownership in San Jose, I thought it would be a fun and educational experience to give this a shot. Starting tomorrow, I will create a simple dialogue based on my spending, eating, and regular activities, which I am able to do based on my salary. These things will include, but are not limited to: Morning Starbucks runs, lunches out with my coworkers, trips to the vending machine, the bottled water I buy at the gas s...

Today is October 17th. Yesterday, Frankie celebrated his 32nd birthday. And 27 years ago, my world view changed slightly, at the ripe old age of 4. The large majority of people that will read this are folks with whom I am very well acquainted. Ergo, they will likely read this in my ever-present sarcastic tone. If you happen to have stumbled upon this and have no idea  who I am, I implore you to use as much dry humor as you can possibly muster while reading this blog post. I have recently come to terms with the fact that I have an intense and deep seeded need to be included in everything, ever, in life. I don't like being left out of anything, at all, ever. Not when I was a child, not when I was in school, not at work, not with my family, not ever. Like ever. Did I mention, EVER?! Just, don't leave me out, and don't leave me behind... Tuesday, October 17, 1989, was a day just like any other in the life of Little Lauren. I likely went to preschool at Challenger School...

"With both hands on the wheel of a getaway car... From the day we met we were goin' too fast, we were born to run, we were built to last.. All I know is sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it. But what good's love if it ain't a little complicated? It don't always go just like you hoped it would, but sometimes complicated's pretty damn good..." In the last 2 months, when someone asks me how things are going with the house, my response is generally something sarcastic like: "Frank's still alive - that's about all I got!" What I mean is, I haven't strangled or suffocated him in his sleep. What I really  mean is, we're continuing to work as a team while we face the unbelievably difficult and complicated task of preparing a house for our life, and trying to make it our home . What I really, really  mean is, despite the fact that we yell at each other and get frustrated and he acts like a 5 year old and gives me the silent...

"It just doesn't seem like a winning endeavor for you to buy something in this area." "You need to broaden your scope." "Really, you need to look elsewhere. I mean, people commute all the time." "Have you thought about looking in the Central Valley? My friend just bought a house in Manteca for under $300K." "Have you considered Hollister or Los Banos? The commute can't be that bad...?" Have you considered that you probably need to SHUT. THE. F*CK. UP?! I can't tell you HOW. MANY. TIMES. people told us how ridiculous it was that we were damn near killing ourselves trying to buy SOMETHING in San Jose. In the beginning, it didn't matter that we were looking at Townhomes. Then we learned there were a ton of struggles with HOA's not accepting the type of loan for which we were approved. So we asked our AMAZING Real Estate Agent, Mary, to include houses, even if they were small, even if they only had one toil...

We Bought A Zoo... Well, not really. In reality, we bought a house. But, there is enough land for me to have chickens, and a goat, and a dog, and maybe a turkey. So we may as well have bought a Zoo. Albeit a petting zoo, but a zoo, nonetheless. Yup. I said it. We. Bought. A. House. Except that we haven't. YET. I guess I should say We. Are. Buying. A. House. Did you know, that in the San Francisco Bay Area of California, home prices are nearly TRIPLE what they are in similar climates across the nation? Did you know that the average number of days a house in the San Francisco Bay Area stays on the market is LESS THAN 10? Did you know that this is a SELLERS market? Because crazy ass people like me and Frank are more than willing  to "play the game" and offer obscene amounts of money OVER the list price because, we, like most other married couples in their 30's, are crazy, and want to be property owners. Did you know that Flood Insurance can ONLY be purchase...

Up to this point, I  have failed miserably at keeping up with this blog. I could throw out some shade and recount all the reasons why I haven't written, but in all reality, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm here, posting now. About the new normal... Recently, I was asked to briefly describe the first 6 years of my life. I simply said happy. My mom didn't work, we spent most of our time with my mom's parents. My dad worked all the time, but was always  around for important things. We vacationed, had family dinners with my aunt and uncle, BBQ's in my grandpa's garden-style backyard. By all accounts, my childhood was the epitome of "normal." Merriam-Webster dictionary defines NORMAL as: usual or ordinary : not strange. Yes, life was usual and ordinary. At least for me. At least based on made-for-TV-movies... Then, it occurred to me, that might have been "normal" for our family, but it wasn't really "normal" by...

I hate the color pink. There. I said it. But really, it's not a secret. Even looking around my office, there is nothing pink. Not even a pen. I may own 1 or 2 articles of clothing that are pink, and chances are, I didn't pick them out myself. Another admission? When I was pregnant, I told my sister she wouldn't get to go anywhere near my child if I was having a girl and she decided to throw me a baby shower with ANYTHING pink. The fact of the matter is that the color itself, is simply, unpleasing to my eye. As a graphic designer, I break down colors into CMYK and RGB. What does that mean? CMYK is the 4-color process that is used to display colors for print. RGB is the the 3-color process that is used to display colors on electronics, ie: computer monitor, television, smartphone, etc. These colors are represented by a numerical value. I could go into a lot more detail, but, I understand that all this is relatively uninteresting for most of you. Back to the topic at h...

Day 17 /Day 32... If variety is the spice of life, then it's no wonder I am bored as shit. I started this topic over 2 weeks ago. And I'll be honest, I was seriously bored, and just feeling overwhelmed with things, and life in general. I was sick, well, I'm still sick. Quite frankly, I have bronchitis. I also have Asthma. I also was fearful I was going to get pneumonia. I honestly had this blog in the back of my mind, but I just couldn't get my shit together to write anything more than the first line. But I'd be lying if I said, last night, in a cough medicine with codeine fog, I didn't lay in bed and write out several topic which I could cover on this blog. And honestly, the first thing I thought of made me laugh so hard I had to get out of bed because I couldn't stop coughing. Various topics include: Why I Hate The Color Pink I Ate A Piece Of Pizza I Should Be A Professional Crab Picker A Snowboard To The Chest I Think I Discovered A New Disorde...

So, I realized something. It is relatively unrealistic for me to post on the weekends. I have several reasons, most notably, the computer I use at home is a little old lady, and she doesn't really like to be used anymore. Additionally, I don't have a lot of time on the weekends. So Monday's will just be a wrap up. UNLESS I do something spectacular and can simply post a lovely picture from my phone. However, there was really nothing particularly spectacular about this weekend. And now, on to Stupid Excitement! When you continually tell yourself you "can't" have something, or that you're "choosing not to eat it", it gets a little old. There are a lot of things I miss while participating in the Whole30(62), the most glaring, however, are: butter, ranch dressing, peanut butter and mayonnaise. Welp, it looks like I got stupid excited when I made my very own mayonnaise, and then took some of that and made my very own ranch dressing! All of which ...

I know this isn't Day 4, I know this is Day 5. And for that, I apologize. Like the title says, I suck at life. But I'm wicked cool. I have a small, brief, excuse as to why I didn't post yesterday. I was extraordinarily busy. And really, I mean it. I was so busy I was barely able to finish all my work before I had to leave for a special event. Special event, you say? What's so more special than posting on this fantastic blog? Well, I'll freakin' tell you! Wait, no, I'll freakin' SHOW YOU! Eric Church Soundchecking at SAP Center Ain't no thang, you know. I just watched Eric Church do a soundcheck with his band yesterday afternoon. You know, just another day at the office, really... ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?! I watched freakin' ERIC CHURCH soundcheck like, 10 feet from me! It was probably one of the coolest things I've ever experienced.  Kickin' It with 2 of my favorite dudes! And by the way, you wan...